It has been long time...
Whenever I visit this page, I feel so peacefull. I feel like there is no wave, no pain, no sorrow in this world. But I know this is not the truth.
It has been 3 months since the day I moved to Prague. And there are 3 months left. Then I will get back home. Should I feel happy for that? I do not know what to feel.
I hope I will not cry. Or at least there will be none can make me cry at that time. Again, I close my heart. 3 months left, during that 3 months, I promise myself to not get involved in any kind of relationship, nor date, no crush, nothing. That will freak me out eventually when I have to leave. That sucks.
Do you know why I always feel good whenever I visit this page? Because I see me here, and none else. None gives a shit about what I was, I am, I will be writing here. Because I feel save to be here. I dont need to act, or try to be cool, try to be someone else. I can be silly, I can be crazy, I can swear, I can fuck up my life, none cares. Because there are always my own emotions here.
I remember the days when I have some people listen to me. Where are they now?
I dont believe in friendship anymore. Im sorry for that. It sucks, but it is just reality. Mom said I was so silly to believe in that kind of friendship, believe in best friends, close friends. She said: There is nothing like that, friends are just friends, people will start to forget the others eventually.
Now, I feel exactly the same.
I will be home for 7 weeks. I don't know what I should do during that 7 weeks. I just want to be safe, be warm, be surrounded by my beloved people. With beloved people, I mean my family. I was expecting some sort of friends reunions, but now I doubt it. I am afraid to see reality, to see that the people I used to know now have changed too much. That sucks.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I started to be picky, to be tricky. I got a flower yesterday... A super cute red flower from someone that I barely remember his face. Again, I'm sorry for being so emotionless that when I saw him, when I took the flower from his hand, I didnt show any facial express. I said: Thanks! It's sweet! And that was all I told him.