These days.

These days...

The sleep crawls into me hardly more than ever, it comes and brings the dreams to me _ the dream of the past, dream of the future, dream of myself, dream of him... All of them are not as sweet as such the dreams that I want but the dreams of obsession.

I'm living in the fear. I run fast to everywhere to find my belief. Do you see it? Please show me.

Where is my belief? Where are my colorful days which is filled up by the happily smiles and my more-than-great friends?

The only thing I want in the end of the day is a sleep of just, but I always wonder how can.

I'm deep in the night, deep in the fear. The silence no longer makes me feel peaceful. I'm lonely more than ever. I need someone here with me, to hold me tight and tell me:

"My girl, everything is fine now. Don't worry, I'm here with you."

But who is that guy?

Hey that guy, if you really exist, please appear. I'm here and waiting for you. I do not know exactly who you are, but I really need you now. Can you tell me where you are? I won't hesitate to run to your place, hug you tight, and tell you how important you are to me. I need you now to help me fight against the loneliness.

Everything has became harder and harder, more terrible. The more difficult the things are, the more exhausted and weaker I am. How can I escape myself from this jumble? Who can? Please help me. I'm here and waving.

I want to cry out loud but it seems there are no more tears in my eyes. I can't.

I need motivation. I need inspiration. I need something new to lift me up. But I know the only way to receive that new thing is creating it myself.

To live is no waiting. To live is no halting. To live is to move forward.

Everything will be okay at the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end.

I used to tell myself that I would never regret for my decision and what I was doing. Believe in me, I will stay strong, and never stop trying to make my dreams come fruition. I know exactly who I am and that's just the way I am. I believe I will take over this difficult period of life, after the storm, comes calm sea.

I'm still a designer of my life, who always try the best to find out what fits to her life.

"I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok...

I just want to know today, know today, know today... Know that maybe I will be OK.

Open me up and you will see I'm a gallery of broken hearts I'm beyond repair, let me be and give me back my broken parts Just give me back my pieces and let me hold my broken parts"

Be OK _ Ingrid Michealson.

P/S:

1. I'm sleepless again and the obsessing dreams are waiting for me.

2. I miss him, so much!

Photo: Dream makes blur.